


Sickle and Straw Man

by ReebaJee



Series: Twin Fangs [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossdressing, Family, Fluff and Angst, Kakashi's twin, Masks, why Kakashi wears a mask
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-08-22 18:06:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16602944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReebaJee/pseuds/ReebaJee
Summary: At first the village assumed they wore masks to hide their resemblance to their father, a precaution against becoming targets for Sakumo’s enemies outside the village. Then after his failure they guessed it was to protect themselves from the scorn of the citizens within. They were wrong on both counts though. Kakashi and Kama wore their masks not to hide their resemblance to their father, but to their mother. Series of non-linear one shots about the Hatake twins.





	1. Just because you're a genius doesn't mean you have to look like one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haircut

“KAKASHI!” 

civilians blinked as a knee high silver blur dashed around a corner, dust billowing up in its wake. Another tiny silver blur, the source of the indignant yell, followed shortly after with a barking black shape at her heels. 

“Get back here you brat! Your hair looks stupid!” 

“Shut up Kama!” Kakashi yelled over his shoulder. “And stop tracking me with Moro, that’s cheating!” 

The five year old’s rebuke was met with a disgruntled bark from the aforementioned black puppy and a vehement denial from her handler. The pair was cut off by the appearance of a pepper bomb being sent in their direction.

“Argh! You jerk!” Kama managed to croak out between sneezes, coughs and tearing eyes. Moro whimpered in agreement. By the time the smoke cleared the two had lost track of their wayward brother. A glance at the sun shadows however confirmed the time, and knowing Kakashi hated being late, Kama knew just where he’d be headed. Kama was just about to sprint off in the direction of the training fields when she was jerked back by her collar. Glaring up at the civilian who’d interrupted her hunt she growled, “Whaddya want old man?” 

The vendor leveled her with a disapproving scowl. “You shouldn’t be running with scissors, kid, you could poke your eye out. Leave those stunts to the shinobi, ya hear?”

Kama merely rolled her eyes and blew a raspberry, then immediately regretted the action as it only got spit on the inside of her mask. Performing a substitution jutsu with her puppy, Kama once again sped after her brother. Suddenly finding himself holding a small black dog instead of a small rude child, the vendor blinked and dropped it as if he’d been burned. Moro quickly ran off after her master and caught up by the time she reached training ground three.

“KAKASHI!” 

Kama’s indignant roar caused her brother to whirl around, eyes comically widening when he spotted his twin and her ninken rapidly approaching. Looking around wildly for a place to hide from his demise, Kakashi stepped behind Minato’s legs just as Kama and Moro reached their side. The two panted to catch their breath and Kama sent the silver hair sticking out from behind Minato a death glare. 

“You… need… a haircut.” Kama declared between breaths. “You look like an old man.” Kakashi looked like Einstein to be exact, his silver hair sticking out at all angles, but no one present would understand the reference. 

Kakashi squawked indignantly when Minato suddenly turned and bent to pick him up to inspect at eye level. “He kind of does, doesn’t he?” The jonin humorously agreed. Setting him down but not letting go, Minato offered, “I’ll keep him still while you cut, eh Kama-kun?” The piteous glare of betrayal Minato received from the five year old in his grasp merely caused him to giggle. 

“Can’t we do this later?” Kakashi whined, “I’ll be all covered in hair for the rest of the day now.”

Kama ignored him and eagerly set to work. “Keep still or I’ll cut off your ears.” She snapped when Kakashi wriggled in vain to get out of his sensei’s grasp. He begrudgingly stilled until his sister was done trimming his hair. Once she was done the sides of his head was clipped shorter to keep his spiky locks from sticking strait out. She left his floof on top and long bangs, knowing Kakashi liked using his hair to hide behind and feel taller, not that he’d ever admit to it. 

“Looks good!” Minato complimented, at last letting his student go. 

Kakashi merely pouted as he began brushing himself off. “I’m all itchy now!” 

“You’re welcome.” Kama snootily returned, “Thanks for the pepper bomb by the way, that was real mature of you.”

“Any real ninja would be able to doge that.” Kakashi scoffed, nose in the air. “Then again, you’re not even genin yet.” Giving his sister the side eye he added, “Speaking of, shouldn’t you be in the academy right now?” 

Kama and Moro gave simultaneous growls, their hackles rising at the barb. Having your twin graduate before you was a sore spot.

Kakashi mockingly took a fistful of his discarded hair. “Here, have something to remember me by so you don’t get lonely.” And he threw it in their direction. Kakashi seemed altogether much more surprised than he should have been when Kama and Moro assaulted him at once. 

Minato threw his head back and laughed. “It seems like that was the last straw, scarecrow.” His giggles didn’t cease when the twins’ fighting suddenly did. “G-get it? Cause Kama means sickle and sickles cut straw-,” the jonin effortlessly dodged the two children’s now redirected blows, “-and Kakashi means scarecrow and they have straw for hair-,”

“Argh, Sensei stop!” Kakashi yelled, his punch striking nothing but air.

“-but then there’s that saying about the straw that broke-,”

“We get it!” Kama screeched.

When Rin returned dragging Obito in toe it was to the sight of Minato laughing and spewing puns while the Hatake twins attacked.


	2. Dogs are the best baby sitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While dad's away, doggies play

A St. Bernard snoozing in the sun jolted awake to the sound of one of her charges’ crying wails. 

“Nana, Kakashi pull hair!” 

“No I not!” The boy pup immediately denied. 

“It hurt!”

“Not!” Kakashi insisted. 

Kama’s face was scrunched up with tears as she tossed out her tiny fist at her brother. “Lying!” 

Nana immediately swooped down to pick Kama up by the back of her onesie, carrying the crying pup away from her now crying brother. Hachiro the Great Dane immediately stood as she passed, heading off to lick and sooth the other child. The dogs dutifully wiped away the toddlers’ snot and tears with their tongues and nuzzled their sides with their noses until the children giggled instead of cried. Then like clockwork they brought them back together, Kakashi and Kama facing each other dangling from the dog’s mouths. 

“You know what to do.” Hachiro growled around his bite of onesie when neither child spoke.

“Apologise.” Nana prompted. “One, two, three…”

“Sowwy.” The twins mumbled in unison, neither willing to say it first. 

“Good. Now who wants to cuddle on my tummy?” Nana asked. It was the best way to get the twins to fall asleep when both refused to take a naptime. 

As predicted the two were both eager for the fluffy treat and were asleep between Nana’s paws before they knew it. Hachiro huffed at the scene and padded off to warm up dinner, a pre-prepared pot of stew and two bottles of milk set in a pot of water. All Hachiro had to do was turn the nob on the stove with his nose and wait for both to come to a simmer. Because of his height the Great Dane had little trouble taking the pot handles in his mouth and setting the meals aside to cool. By the time the twins awoke, each had a bottle of warm milk waiting and the dogs ate most of the stew, nudging the toddlers to try some of the softer bits. 

After dinner they all played fetch and ride-the-doggie until both children were tuckered out enough for sleep. It wasn’t until late at night did Sakumo finally come home. 

Splattered in blood that wasn’t his own and sweat that definitely was, the White Fang of the Leaf slumped into the nursery to check on his children. Hachiro met his eye from where he laid guard by the cradle and Sakumo gave a nod of acknowledgement. Finally he could relax. Still, out in the hall where the noise wouldn’t disturb the sleeping twins Sakumo couldn’t help but order, “Nana, report.” 

The St. Bernard did her best impression of a doggy shrug. “Kakashi may or may not have pulled Kama’s hair and Kama may or may not have punched him. We got them to both apologize. The way you set out dinner worked well and…” 

Sakumo looked up from where he’d been unwrapping his shins. “And what?” 

Nana huffed, “And you were right that we could smell when they were about to defecate and bring them to the potty on time. Doesn’t mean it’s pleasant though.”

Sakumo wheezed out a laugh, the uneasy sound causing his ninken to look up in alarm. “It’s fine, just bruised ribs.” He gave Nana an affectionate pat. “Thank you for your work. You two go back to the wolf realm for now and I’ll summon you back tomorrow.”

She gave him a skeptical look. “We can stay you know. We’re not actually wolf summons so it won’t be a chakra drain to keep us here. Hachiro and I don’t mind watching over your children.” Sakumo didn’t reply as he instead meticulously set about removing his wrapped thigh holster. “Was the mission difficult? You seem tired.” Nana asked after a while.

Sakumo gave her a self-deprecating smile and a shake of the head. “Nah, just out of practice after my year off.”

The dog nodded knowingly. “Ah, your secret paternity-leave. Hachiro and I will keep watch then. Sleep well.”

And with the safety of his kids in the paws of his pack, sleep well he did.


	3. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of background

“Sakumo-sama!”

The unfortunate T&I workers dumped with the late night guard duty enthusiastically greeted him upon his return, no doubt glad for the reprieve from monotony. Then again… with the way the chunin’s eyes shined at him while Sakumo signed in and performed the necessary identification procedures, the guard probably had a good dose of hero warship as well. “How was your mission Sakumo-sama?”

“Successful.” He succinctly replied. Sakumo felt one of the bundles on his back wiggle and rushed to finish the forms faster. There was always more security this time of night when fewer ninja would be expected to enter and exit the village. 

“Of course! I can’t imagine it any other way.” The guard gushed. “You were gone a long time though, it must have been a pretty long term mission.”

“Almost eleven months.” Sakumo confirmed, this bit of knowledge helping to verify his identity. “The target was difficult to locate.” He stepped around the misdirection the chunin supplied in case he was a spy who didn’t know his mission wasn’t the kind with a set timeframe. Sakumo had to hand it to the guard, while the stars in his eyes might be annoying, at least they didn’t blind him from doing his job. Still, it had been nearly a year since he had been home and Sakumo restrained the urge to tap his foot impatiently while the chunin made sure his papers were in order.

“Will you be requesting a temporary leave of service to recuperate after this? I’m sure we’d all love to see you some more around the village and you do deserve a break every now and then, Sakumo-sama.” The guard made polite conversation as he checked off boxes. Sakumo grunted his agreement. A year off would do good for taking care of his... packages. They stood in silence as the chunin finished checking over his work. Once he was done he sent Sakumo a beaming smile. “All done! Welcome back Sakumo-sama.”

With a nod Sakumo turned to leave, only to be halted by the nosy guard’s last inquiry. “Oh, what are those two bundles on your back Sakumo-sama? The file doesn’t mention you leaving the village with them.”

Sakumo breathed quietly out his nose and turned around. “Don’t worry about these. They’re just… trophies.”

The gate guard’s eyes softened in understanding. “Ah, I get it. That Inuzuka traitor was your teammate wasn’t she? Well if any one deserves that bitch’s head it’s you. I won’t tell.”

Sakumo fought not to grimace at the thought that his precious cargo could be mistaken for the severed heads of a dog and human, but didn’t comment. This misconception worked in his favor after all. If people thought he had her head, no one would suspect dear Mimi to be alive.

Luck must have been with him that night because it was only once he reached his home did the infants strapped to his back wake from their sleep with a cry and little Kakashi and Kama opened their eyes for the first time in Konoha.


	4. Masks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to IrisZo for leaving the first comment! Thanks a bunch!

“I don’t wanna wear a mask!”

 “You have to.”

“But whyyyyyyyy?” Kama asked for the fifth time.

“Quit wining, Kama-nee!” Kakashi said, poking his sister. “Just put it on, they’re cool! And Tou-san says they’ll make us great ninja.”

Kama pouted. “Goody two shoes.”

Kakashi stuck out his tongue only to find the mask inhibited the movement and lint got in his mouth.

“Ha see!” Kama pointed out, victorious, “masks are stupid!”

“Kama.” Sakumo said in a warning tone. She cowed under his stare and bared her neck in a submissive gesture. He used her averted gaze and attention to slip the spandex mask over her face.

“Gyah!~” She squealed in distress. “Tou-san, I don’t like it! I feel like I’ve been muzzled!” Kama reached up to pull it off but stopped her hand stopped under the weight of her father’s disapproving stare. She lowered her head and whimpered.

Sakumo sighed. Out of his two children Kama certainly took after her Inuzuka side the most. He knew this would be difficult for her. “Kama-chan, look at me.”

“But-,”

“Look at me.” Kama tearfully obliged and suddenly Sakumo didn’t know what to say.

_(Stop, you’re instinctively acting like a dog and reminding me of your mother? You have to wear a mask so no one will see that red fang on your cheek? The way you were born and your very face puts you in constant danger?)_

“You need to wear the mask for your safety.” He eventually settled on. “I know it’s hard, I know you don’t like it. But it would hurt me more than anything to see something happen to you or your brother because you weren’t wearing your masks. I love you both very much and want you to be safe. So put up with it for _me_ , okay? Don’t let a dumb bit of cloth get you down. A shinobi endures.”

Kama sniffed and adjusted the mask over her face. “O-okay. But now I have snot on my mask.”

Kakashi laughed at her and Kama glared at him. Sakumo smiled and petted his twins’ hair. “How about I teach you a little something for that then? It’s an Anbu technique for keeping your nose from running on stealth missions.” He grinned at how his kids brightened at the idea of learning something new. Sakumo handed Kama a tissue. “Blow your nose for now, Kama-chan. It’s okay for you to show me and each other your faces, just not anyone else.”

Kama gratefully pulled down her mask and honked her nose into Sakumo’s handkerchief. Kakashi laughed at her again so once she was done she tried to rub the thing in Kakashi’s hair. This sparked little wrestling match between the two and Sakumo chuckled softly. He’d just have to teach them that technique another time.


	5. Dogs and Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins get their summons

“Wow!”

“Amazing!”

Sakumo smiled as he watched his two pups run around and play in the pure, glistening snow while dogs of all shapes and sizes frolicked about them.

“It’s so cold! What is this stuff?”

“It’s pretty and shiny and just like the color of your hair, Tou-san!”

The White Fang chuckled to himself, amused that his kids seemed more fascinated with the white stuff on the ground and falling from the sky than the fact that their father had just reverse summoned them to another dimension. “I’m glad you think my hair is pretty Kama-chan. This stuff is called snow, Kakashi-chan, and it’s made out of frozen water.”

Kama lay down and started rolling around. “I like it. Can we move here?”

Sakumo shook his head. “There’s snow back home too you know.”

“There is?”

“Well maybe not in our country but other places in our world. And once you become a shinobi you can travel to all those places to take missions.” He said. “Now, gather around you two, and let me tell you a little about this place. I didn’t bring you here just so you could see the snow.” He waited patiently for his two kids to fumble and stumble over to him, looking like puffy little marshmallows all bundled up in their coats. Sakumo grinned goofily. His pups were so adorable. “Where we are right now is a very special place. Legend has it that the very first Hatake came here by mistake, and we’ve had a connection to this world ever since. This, kids, is the Wolf Summon Realm.”

Kakashi began looking around them while Kama squealed in awe. “I don’t see any wolves Tou-san.” Kakashi admitted. “Why can’t I see them?”

Ah Kakashi, always so clever, yet always assuming fault lay with himself. “You can’t see any wolves because there aren’t any.” Their father told them.

“Why-?” Kama began to ask, but Sakumo’s eyes turned sad.

“The wolves… are gone now. There might be some left in the mountains but they’d be very old by now. If they’re alive they won’t want to see us.” He told them.

Kama looked contemplative. “There aren’t many wolves left just like us Hatake.”

Sakumo gave his daughter a soft look. “Yes, Kama-chan. Just like us.” He gestured around to all the dogs that surrounded them. “Now you see, unlike a house that can remain standing even if it is uninhabited, Summon Realms, as alternate dimensions will actually implode and cease to exist if nobody lives there. That’s where these guys come in.” The dogs all began to yip and talk in agreement. The twins giggled. “You see, just because the wolves were… disappearing, didn’t mean we could let their realm be destroyed along with them. So the Hatake made a deal with the Inuzuka that every dog they bred that didn’t get chosen a human partner could come and live here if they wished. And that’s why I brought you here.” He smiled proudly. “Today you’re going to be picking out and bonding with your packs!”

Kakashi let out a whoop of anticipation. Kama cheered in delight. Sakumo felt his cheeks hurt from how much he was smiling. “Now go pick your puppies and when we get back I’ll teach you how to summon them and embroider your name on their snow jackets.”

“How many can I have?” Kakashi asked excitedly.

“As many as you’re willing to train.” Sakumo told him.

Kama pumped her fist in the air. “I’m gonna find a puppy and train them to be the _best_ and she’s gonna be better than _all_ of yours combined, ‘Kashi!”

This, of course, sparked a snow tussling match between the twins that the dogs soon joined in on. In the end Kama found an ally in her partner to be, a little black German shepherd pup named Moro and Kakashi ended up picking eight puppies of his own.

“I love you Moro!” Kama happily declared. “I’m gonna train you, and we’re gonna be together always! I’ll always have you by my side!”

Sakumo felt his smile become somewhat fixed. That sounded awfully… Inuzuka of her. “That’s wonderful Kama-chan, but you’re going to have to leave her behind just for now so you can learn to summon her. You can’t summon her unless she’s here in the Summon Realm, okay?”

His daughter looked up at him curiously. “I know Tou-san, but I’d only ever need to summon her if we separated and why would I do that?” Kama held Moro close to her chest and looked at him so cutely.

Sakumo chewed on the inside of his cheek. He could already see the strong bond between them being forged and knew it would be dangerous to try and separate them. He didn’t fancy dealing with a tantrum in the middle of another world. But Hatake’s had always dealt with animal _summons,_ and for Kama to have a _partner_ instead… The single red fang mark on her cheek stood out against her wind-flushed face. Would people suspect?

Kama’s eyes began to glisten and her lip started to wobble. That along with Moro’s literal puppy eyes and Sakumo was a goner. He caved like wet paper under that killer combination of cuteness. They were going to be a deadly pair.

“All right, all right. You can keep Moro with you always. But.” Sakumo leveled a stern finger at he daughter’s victorious face and tried to regain some of his authority, “I still want you to learn the Summoning Jutsu so you’re going to have to leave her here until you master it to get her back. But once you do that she can stay with you.”

“Yay!!” Kama put her puppy down and began to run around in circles. “Don’t worry Moro, I’ll have it mastered in no time and then we’ll be together again.”

A squeal of delight had the father and daughter looking over to where Kakashi lay in the snow attacked by doggie kisses from all eight of his dogs. “Look sis, Doggy Pile no Jutsu!” He popped up out of the snow and started pantomiming an imaginary battle while his dogs ran around his ankles. “I’ll be in a fight with a super powerful opponent right? Like maybe one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, and then I’ll be all _swish, fwish Summoning Jutsu!_ And as my super secret weapon Bull and Gukuro and Pakkun and Bisuke and Uhei and Akino and Shiba and Urushi will go all _poof_ rawr! And surprise my enemy and they’ll bite onto him and hold him down while I take the finishing blow! It’s gonna be awesome!”

Sakumo and Kama both started laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice that I've made this fic part of a series. This is because I'm not sure if I should keep the more angsty later-life bits mixed in with all this wonderful fluff or make a separate story. Let me know what you think.


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